:smug:

• Game: Science Papa
• Format: Nintendo DS
• Developer: Mad Monkey Studio
• Publisher: Activision
• Genre: Mini-game compilation / Edutainment

Let's get it out of the way, Science Papa is an odious and fetid dump of a game and the only reason that I own it and am reviewing it is because it was a condition of purchasing a Gamestop Lucky Bag, the results of which you can see in this thread.

I'm all for educational games, there were some pretty decent ones on the ancient PCs that my primary school had that taught me stuff that I find so trivial now I don't remember what it was and there are tonnes of bits of software that teach you languages amongst other things. Oh, and remember that dungeon crawler-ish game on Encarta '97? That was fun-ish! Science Papa on the other hand holds little to no educational value unless you wanted a quick lesson in how to waste your money.

You start off in Papa's lab as a new recruit with the ultimate goal of winning a prestigious award whilst at the lab. Unfortunately, as a "bright , young recruit" you start off by making some rudimentary industrial strength bleach to clean the worktops, not particularly interesting stuff. However, it's probably a good thing that you get taught to make this stuff as within half an hour with the game, the prospect of consuming as much of the stuff as possible becomes quite appealing.

This was genuinely the only screenshot that I could be bothered to find that was bigger than a thumbnail. Soap paste, I'm sure kids would love making soap paste!

Some of the basic experiments that you're asked to do first involve heating things, mixing things and turning things. Most of these require waiting 10 seconds or so for something to happen before poking the screen or being given a prompt to stop. Unfortunately, any fun that could've been derived from these bits is completely taken away by dire controls will on occasion register two spins on the middle of the touch screen as twenty spins and visa versa. Science Papa also introduces a time-management element to the experiments shortly into the game but this too becomes as enjoyable as stubbing a toe on a door frame, if that, in no way due to the terrible controls either.

Science Papa really is an atrocious excuse for a game, let alone as a piece of educational software. I couldn't be bothered to find out about the rest of the different types of experiments that I could do because progressing through what I had played was around 90 of the most resentfully tedious minutes of my life. Science Papa wouldn't be any less fun if the cart squirted hydrofluoric acid into your face at random intervals before stabbing you in the testicles with a red hot pitchfork. The fact that this is aimed at kids is particularly worrying because I'm sure most of them wouldn't have the attention span to stay with something as utterly painful as this. Let them poke slugs with sticks, they'll find it much more enjoyable and it'll be some £15 cheaper too. Use the cart to prop up a wobbly chair.

A deplorable, bile-encrusted piece of software that's less of a game and more of an infectious disease / 10.

Yes I brought one of these things, yes I spent actual money on a Playstation move, you may now curse me for doing so...........


.........done? lets continue with this whole "review" lark then, just before we get into the nitty gritty of it Ill be focusing on the hardware, and wether its better then using a normal pad rather then the games itself. Although my "review" will focus mainly around the demos included and Heavy Rain (which as we all know is not actually a game but a most entertaining interactive Film thing, any attempts to defend Heavy rain as a game will probably result in ridicule, you have been warned!).

The light up pingpong ball thing, or the Playstation Move Controller



Thats it, the white thing lights up and everything



Its amazing, and magenta. For some reason it tends to default to magenta, games can override it to any colour they want (Heavy rain changes it to a more manly blue/cyan) but for most of the time people are going to think you are waving about a "dark pink" light up pingpong ball about to play games with (because who the hell knows what magenta is!). Possibly not the best choice of colour for the main default player one colour, but one that is probably going to get you questionable looks in social situations, when you were going to get them anyway :P

The controller is nice and comfortable to hold, its more moulded to you're hands then the Wii remote is, and all of the buttons are in easy reach, just don't expect to press more then 3 at once, 4 if you have a rather large thumb, its impossible to press the move button, and try to press more then 1 of the normal playstation buttons. That does not sceme like a bad thing, but in some places of Heavy Rain thats exactly what I was asked to do, when you have to use two hands on what is supposed to be a one handed controller something is just wrong. It may be just a design flaw of Heavy Rain, as no other move games have required me to use two hands.

The tracking ability of the controller is in some respects better then the Wii, and in others slightly less accurate. Full one on one control is much better on the move, and quite freaky if its a augmented reality game (you know the ones that show your front room on the screen and overlay the game over the video feed). But when you try to use it as a 2D pointer (like a mouse on you're PC) its a little hit and miss, it works as long as you are in the stated "2m from the TV" any further then that and the technology shows its limitations, resulting in rather large stretched out gestures to get it to do anything!

The nunchuck thing

Ill keep this short, you don't need one, the Dual shock is perfectly fine, it takes a little adjustment to get used to balancing it in one hand, but it never felt clumsy to use it. I'm glad I never brought one :P

So is it any good?

Like any hardware it depends on the software, Heavy Rain (which we know is not a game!) generally does work well with it, Fight scenes are just more dam fun when you are waving about like a madman trying to attack/defend what ever you are under threat from. It does truly add another entertaining, and dare I say it.... fun dimension to it, as the scripted blows were accurate to what you were doing with the controller. The accuracy was good as well, I'm sure we have all played games on the Wii where we got frustrated with motion controls that never triggered, or triggered at the wrong time, that tends to happen with the move a lot less, its not 100% eradicated, but its noticeably a lot less frustrating overall.

So should you get one? At the moment no, its all about the software and its only just starting, If you fancy watching Heavy Rain again, and have a spare bit of cash laying around it might just be worth it (although you have to like Heavy Rain a lot) for everything else, wait a while. The Hardware is technically sound, now we just need the dam games!

Itchy

Lately I have had some interesting musings (well interesting to me anyway!) tucked away inside my brain, and well this looks like a good place to dump them! I need the space for Java dammit :P These will take the form of ramblings of a Genius/Madman. Some will have reason, some will have an opinion, all of them will be freshly baked, straight from my mind with very little editing (i.e. ill run them through a spell check! yeah thats about as much proof reading as I can be arsed to do :P )

So this is sort of a short post..... so I leave you with this:



See we can do bad things too :P

Itchy

Type: Kickboxing

Time: 45 Mins

Lots of pad work, focusing on parrying and covering up, stopping the flinch. Just what I need.

Monsterous circuit at the end too.

Type: Swimming

Distance: 1250m (50 lengths).

Time: 45Mins

Shit, I've shaved off 8 minutes of time in exactly 1 week. Thats some serious progress. I'm well happy.

What it says on the tin.

Shit, Shit, Shit.

Work too hard burn yourself out.

20 Lengths 40 mins, thats all I lasted today.

Shit.

Type: Wrestling

Time: 1Hr

God I love this, I feel so alive when I'm struggling to move even one mm in some hold.

Type: Swimming

Time:53 Minutes

Distance: 1250m (50 Lengths)

A new milestone for me. I'm really pleased, having had a grotty cold lingering on through last week and the weekend, I decided to rest up for a few days. Thankfully it meant I hit my target with ease, I should definitely be swimming no less than 50 lengths in future. My next targets will be 80 lengths, preferably in the 1hr mark but I'm not to bothered about the timing right now, just the ability to work hard enough for the distance. Conditioning and sprinting will come later in Phase 2. (When I hit the 120 lengths mark).

Type: Swim

Distance:875m

Time: 1 Hr

Its a small improvement, still not 3000m though. Going to aim for 1250m tomorrow (50 lengths). It'll be a big push but a milestone if I manage it.

Type: Swim (all strokes)

Distance: 750m (30 lengths)

Time: 1Hr.

I should clarify that I did the 30 lengths in half an hour then chilled with my bro for the other half. Still I'm disappointed because I'm trying to get to 120 lengths, preferably in an hour, but being too knackered to continue after 30 lengths is really getting me down.

Stupid men/intelligent women in advertisements. You know that advert where the woman is portrayed as being intelligent while the man is being portrayed as a dumb-ass motherfucker? Yeah, you do know, don't you? Chances are everybody reading this right now has a different advert in their heads because there are so fucking many of them. You know what makes this shit even worse? The fact that women utterly lap this manufactured and cynical bullshit right up, the dumb-ass motherfuckers. I think… I think that's irony there, isn't it?

People with the word 'Sniper' or any of its many variants, misspelled or otherwise, intentionally or not, in their Gamertag who kill you with any gun other than a sniper rifle. If you're arrogant enough to put that word in your 'tag, you'd better have the fucking cojones to back that shit up. But it's never the case. I honestly don't think I've ever been killed by a sniper with the word 'sniper' in their name. Online games should have code in them that forces these dumb-ass motherfuckers to use sniper rifles exclusively. No excuses. If you want to use anything else, then sort your 'tag, fag.

Fuckin' decoration shows. They're shit, and there are so many of them it's almost impossible to get away from them. But the worst thing is, if I start watching one of them, I'll fucking watch it and I'll probably enjoy it, and then I'll have realised that I just wasted 20-25 minutes watching a completely vapid and shallow TV programme made for dumb-ass motherfuckers. That's the most annoying thing; that I'm a dumb-ass motherfucker. At least I'm self-aware about it all, most dumb-ass motherfuckers don't even know they're dumb-ass motherfuckers.

Dumb-ass motherfuckers.

Type: Yoga

Duration: 1Hr.

Notes: I am inflexible and generally look like an awkward plank of wood at these sessions. Probably gonna have to supplement them somehow... Ideas on a postcard.

I wasn't sure what to name the title of this entry so I went for the above... Pretty shit I know :P

Anyway, the reason for this entry... Basically, I've been thinking a fair bit at work recently why, in a lot of games, enemies don't react to getting shot in the leg or body part and not bloody well reacting to it. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure COD: Mw1/2 is a victim of this... If I freaking well shoot you with my bloody AK-47 or whatever gun I currently have in my hands then I'm pretty sure you're gonna be hurt by that fucker if you don't die... I'm also pretty sure that If I were to shoot your sorry arse in the leg then you'd either be limping or on the floor crying for your mother wishing you'd listened to her advice and gone to the supermarket instead of the Al-Quaeda training camp. I'm sure games are going for the whole "realism" thing lately so please, if you want to go for "realism" then can you at least make them react if I were to shoot the enemy in his hairy testicles? I might actually be wrong with the fact that it doesn't happen in MW1/2 and if so, please replace the above paragraph with a game that definitely doesn't do it (In your heads) ;)

Borderlands on the other hand does this pretty well... In fact... It might have been Borderlands that helped inspire the blog. Anyway, when I shoot people or enemies in general in Borderlands they react to me kicking ass, even bosses and higher defense/ level enemies. They might get knocked back from my sniper bullet or stumble from having a bullet enter their body at a high speed... It's good, because it shows that the enemies aren't indestructible and ARE affected by my weapons, it also shows that I hit the bastard, instead of shooting and hoping that I hit him as I run across from one piece of cover to the next...

That's pretty much all I can really think to write at the moment on this subject... It was a pretty crap rant to be honest but one that I felt should be said. I am however probably wrong but I'm not too bothered about that.

Thanks to Foo for the title. Now onwards to fitness and the relentless pursuit of physical perfection.

Today I graded for my 3rd Belt in Kickboxing.

Time: 1Hr 30Min

Type: Kickboxing, padwork, full contact sparring, board breaking.

I haven't done any full contact stuff in a long long time and thus I am now shit. I desperately need to work on my guard, covering up and slipping. Also my flinch has come back, need to get rid of that pronto. To that end I intend to come to the dedicated full contact class once a week aswell as my usual fitness/technical classes.

That is all.

Blimey I didn't realise we all got our own individual blogs.

I think I'll make this a fitness blog. Starting tomorrow after I do some fitness.

Originally Posted by PrivateRyan

Bloody hell guys, a bit overkill on this

Was it?

You know what gets on my tit-end? People who moan about change. Whenever Facebook changes its layout, you get people moaning to get it changed back, starting up groups and other such nonsense. Guess what, you eejits, I'm pretty sure the people at Facebook know a bit more about how the internet works than you do. It's the same for YouTube; you get videos of people demanding it be changed back to how it was. Sort out your priorities and shut the fuck up.

You know gets my goat? Chocoholics. Not the actual people, I can understand what being addicted to chocolate might be like (although I doubt you get withdrawal symptoms from a lack of chocolate, so I therefore doubt you can be addicted to it - you just really, really like chocolate), as chocolate is lovely. I just hate the term 'chocoholic'. It doesn't make any sense. Alcoholics are so-called because they are addicted to alcohol. Chocoholics aren't addicted to that mythical thing called 'chocohol' (the Red Zig Zag of Death™ underneath that word proves my point), so why in the name of John Cadbury are they called chocoholics? Same for 'shopaholics'. You don't go the 'shopahols', and you don't go 'shopaholling', so why the fuck would you be a 'shopaholic'? Also, papers that call scandals '–gate'. No. Stop it. The original scandal the name came from was political and ultimately led to the resignation of the US President, Richard Nixon. It had nothing to do with water.

You know what gets up my nose? ITV. If it weren't for the X-Factor, Britain's Got Talent and I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here this shitty station would be dead in the water, but because the idiotic masses watch this camel cack, the advertisers will pay a literal boat-load to get their ropey products stuck in the ad-break and to sponsor them, which gives ITV the money to carry on going. This, a station that still insists on not only putting ad-breaks in the films it broadcasts, not only editing the living shit out of them but also, because they don't broadcast anything worth watching before the 9 PM watershed, the films they broadcast are broken into two by the fucking News at Ten. The News at Ten, no less! A programme made entirely redundant by 24 hour rolling news stations. They're a creative vacuum, too, and should be unplugged. Maybe then Simon Cowell will fuck off to America where we all want him to be. And stay there. Maybe he'll get shot.

You know what fucks me right off the end of the pier? Pretentiously over-analysing things. Mark Kermode once said that the chest-bursting scene in Alien is a metaphor for males' phobia of child-birth. What? I don't know about you, but when I see that scene, I'm not thinking "Argh! It's like child-birth!", I'm thinking "Jesus shitting marbles, it just burst out of his chest and killed John Hurt!" It. Burst. Out. Of. His. Chest. Whenever someone over-analyses things, it just reeks of a petty individual trying to impress everyone by making a connection that no-one else has thought about. While some people might say 'you're talking shit, Kermode', most people would probably just nod their heads in agreement and make a 'hmm' sound, and even then, they're probably just doing it impress someone, most likely a wife or girlfriend. "Yes dear, all men are scared of child-birth. Didn't you know? We're all so very proud of women for being able to do such a painful yet necessary thing. Now, how about a blowie?" Oh, for… now I'm over-analysing things. Look what you've gone and done, Kermode, you pretentious twat.

* Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2
* Format: Wii
* Other Formats: None
* Developer: Nintendo
* Publisher: Nintendo
* Genre: Platformer

For the sequel to one of the highest rated games of this generation, the initial announcement of Super Mario Galaxy 2 was somewhat underwhelming. While there is no shortage of spin-offs, the core series has always been rationed out much more carefully, such that after the NES Super Mario Bros. trilogy there has been one core Mario game per Nintendo home console, and always with a significant change of focus over its predecessors. Not only would this be a direct sequel, but the initial plan was for a kind of remix version of the original game, using the existing levels and graphics to rush out a new game in little more than a year.

Thankfully, somewhere along the line Nintendo apparently realised what a bad idea this was, and that cynical cash-in has morphed into a true successor that shows every bit of the imagination seen in the very best Mario games. There is still the occasional area that is recognisable from the original game, but these are greatly in the minority and even those that do appear have been changed enough that they feel fresh. While the game does not have the kind of major new gimmick seen in most Mario platformers, the gravity and perspective concepts that first showed up in the original Galaxy are refined to perfection - one comet medal requires you to slingshot around planetoids, while another level switches from 2D platformer to top-down maze without even moving the camera.

It's 2D and 3D at the same time

This creativity can be seen all throughout the level design, with each individual level showing more imagination than can be found in many entire games. While the first Mario Galaxy repeated a few themes, here every level feels different both in terms of its appearance and in how it plays - Flip-Swap Galaxy has platforms that switch positions when you spin, Chompworks has you clear a path for a giant Chain Chomp, and Sweet Mystery Galaxy involves riding Yoshi around a giant invisible birthday cake.

The levels themselves are much more linear and focused than before, containing a clear goal and with something to do at every step of the way, more than any of it's predecessors this feels like a 3D update to Super Mario World. Finally, the hub has been simplified to a single small planet where rather than messing around walking from one observatory to another, there is just one entrance to a map screen containing all the Galaxies arranged into seven Worlds (the naming system makes even less sense than last time).

Cosmic Marios appear for a few comet challenges, copying your actions then crashing
into you like some kind of evil time trial ghost

Then of course there are the power-ups. All of the ones from the first game are back, bar the strange omission of the ice flower, along with a selection of all new ones, chief amongst these being the drill that lets you jump from one side of a planet to the other, and the brilliant cloud suit that allows you to summon up floating platforms wherever you want. Yoshi is back too, and is always a highlight, swinging from special targets, inflating himself into a balloon or running up walls at super speed.

And perhaps the most incredible success is the way that so many of these ideas are used only once and then forgotten in favour of yet another new idea. Rather than the traditional six stars per level, the number is reduced to just two or three (one of which is either a hidden star or comet challenge), allowing for the highest number of individual levels in any 3D Mario at 49 in total. There are ideas in here that could potentially have formed the basis for an entire game, but instead end up as one stroke of brilliance amongst hundreds more.

Luigi shows up seemingly at random, rather than being a reward for 120 stars,
the actual reward is possibly the best since the Second Quest in the original Zelda

It's no easy game either, most players should be able to get the bare minimum number of stars to reach Bowser's castle and see the ending (especially given the return of New Super Mario Bros. Wii's video guides and automatic solutions), but to finish everything will test your mastery of all Mario's moves, right down to abilities you didn't even realise were possible. Some of the secret stars almost feel like the kind of sequence-breaking tricks that in any other game would be used to reach areas you were never supposed to go. The final star in particular is the closest thing to I Wanna Be The Guy that you're likely to see in a retail release.

Die repeatedly and the Cosmic Spirit will appear to help you out. You have failed to such an extent that a
videogame is taking pity on you - take a long hard look at how you reached this point.

All this, and there is still so much that this review hasn't even touched on- the boss battles, the music, the callbacks to previous games. This really is a game that never puts a foot wrong, to the point that it is genuinely difficult to think of something negative to say. Maybe Yoshi and the suits could have been used a bit more, Starshine Beach isn't quite as good as all the other levels, but these things seem downright trivial when compared to just how good the rest of the game is. The best game of this generation, the best Mario game ever, and a serious contender for the title of greatest game of all time.

10/10

After watching these videos...

Spoiler

...I've had a sudden resurgence of appreciation for friendly rivalries.

Ever since I started playing games I've had some sort of rivalry with somebody at some sort of multiplayer game that myself and one or more of my friends have become hooked on. Super Mario Kart, GoldenEye, Mario Kart 64, Super Smash Bros (and Melee), Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and a few more too. By the time I'd reached university I lost touch with or only occasionally saw all of those friends and those rivalries disappeared. Nobody I knew of those around me was as passionate about gaming as I was and that may have been a reason for my somewhat lapse of interest in gaming over the following year or two but that's another story for another blog (maybe).

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad that I'm developing some new rivalries with you guys again. I cannot think of anyone better to have a Street Fighter rivalry with than Nimmo, every single game with you since the very first one simultaneously feels like nothing short of an absolute pleasure as well as a scenario where I feel that I've got something to prove (or at least keep up with your improving skills :)).

Boss Man, Ronan and Swifty in Smash Bros. Every single one of the games I've had against you guys has been phenomenal and has really tested me in-game and each one of you provide me with a different challenge too. In that respect I suppose it's a joint-rivalry but technicalitiesmrrmrrmrmrmr.... :P

Ronan, once (if) I eventually train my 'mon team then it'd be awesome to see your fully trained team. :)

Overall I just wanted to say that I love playing games with you guys and if a friendly rivalry develops then all the better for it because I certainly know that when I've got somebody to try and keep up with it makes playing the game a hell of a lot more enjoyable. :)

Peace out.

Quick moral quiz - as you leave the village an old man comes up to you claiming to have been robbed by bandits in the wilderness. He desperately needs the treasure that was stolen from him and promises to reward you if you get it back. Do you:

1. Ride to the bandits' camp and fight them all off but let them live once they promise to be nice. Take the treasure and return it to its owner but refuse to accept a reward because you were only performing your moral duty as a generic do-gooder.
2. Ride to the bandits' camp, kill everyone and loot their corpses. Then go back to the old man, refuse to give him back the treasure but threaten to kill him if he doesn't give you the reward anyway. Kill him and loot his corpse. Then stamp on a puppy. Loot the puppy's corpse.

Depending on your choice here, your Evil-O-Meter will move slightly in one direction or other, also you probably get more money and XP for choosing the second option, it's just a sidequest though so don't expect any kind of lasting consequences.

The above scenario is obviously a simplified version of the kind of moral choices that modern RPGs try to offer, the problem is that it's not simplified by that much. A typical moral choice will boil down to taking the unambiguously "good" option or the unambiguously "evil" option (occasionally with a few neutral options thrown in). As such, the whole moral choice aspect comes down to a decision made right at the start of whether you want to play a good or evil character.

The pursuit of good/evil points also leads to the character's actions feeling forced - a good character will go out of their way to help everyone who asks, even when they clearly have far more important things to be concerned about. Evil characters on the other hand seem downright schizophrenic; a truly self-centred person would probably just ignore the majority of sidequests (and maybe even the main quest) because they don't care about the problems of some random peasant. This however will be counted as neutral by the game mechanics so you need to take the quest anyway then throw in some act of gratuitous cruelty to make the point that you really are EVIL!

And this leads us to the biggest problem, the goody-two-shoes and asinine jerk characters clearly have no rights being on the same quest with the same teammates. The game needs to railroad the player and horribly break the plot to provide an excuse for why a character would go on a quest they clearly have no motivation for (generally an evil character on a good quest, although I imagine playing a good character in Overlord causes this kind of problem too). Someone who genuinely wanted to roleplay an evil character might want to take over the first low-level criminal organisation you fight, kill the leader of the good guys, or sell out the forces of good and take a position working for the villain. But these choices goes way beyond the level of variation that is allowed by the script and so either there will be no option to do any of them, or at best you'll get a few extra lines of dialogue giving a hand-wave to force you back onto the main path. Thus you have the paradox of an "evil hero" - a heartless killer who slaughters the innocent while battling the forces of darkness and amassing a team of pure-hearted allies.

And of course these allies may complain about your latest rampage but will never think of abandoning the psychopathic killer they've mistakenly teamed up with. Kill, steal and stab your friends in the back for minimal reward and they'll still follow you right up to the pre-scripted bit before the last dungeon where the two paths finally diverge.

I think a better option would be to abandon the forced attempts to allow both good and evil choices and instead let the player choose between different moral philosophies on the same side of the scale. Take it for granted that the player character is a hero, but let them choose how best to go about saving the world - more like Lawful Good vs. Chaotic Good rather than tying yourself in knots aiming for Lawful Good vs. Chaotic Evil. Do you work strictly within the law or break the rules for the greater good? Sacrifice innocent lives to stop the bad guys or save the civilians but let your enemies get away? Mass Effect tries to use this system, with both Paragon and Renegade being basically good but differing in how ruthless they are willing to be. There are still some cases of asinine jerkiness - anyone wanting to get full Renegade points needs to be highly xenophobic and needlessly rude - but it manages to be one of the few games where both paths make sense.

Taking the idea even further it would be interesting to see a game where there are meaningful consequences for both "idealistic" and "ruthless" actions. Even Mass Effect tended to allow the Paragon to accomplish everything the Renegade could, making the "I did what needed to be done" defence ring hollow. Ideally, both options should have something going for them, both in terms of reward for the player (most of the time, the evil route will lead to more fighting and stealing, hence more loot and XP) and moral consequences.

Making it so that neither path is obviously more "good" than the other, would still give just as much choice as the more traditional good vs. evil dichotomy but since the choices are limited to the heroic ones the story would make more sense and feel a lot less like you were being railroaded. Perhaps more importantly the player would hopefully end up actually thinking about which one they should choose rather than simply going for the one that earns the most points for their alignment. All in all, the story and your choices in it would become a lot more interesting.

* Game: Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels
* Format: Wii
* Other Formats: None
* Developer: Krome Studios
* Publisher: LucasArts
* Genre: Fighting

When Nintendo first announced that they were making a console powered by waving a TV remote around like an idiot, there was one game that everyone wanted to see. The very concept of the Wii seems perfect for a lightsaber game, right down to the remote speaker for making "vom vomvomvom vom vom vom BZZZT!" noises. Well, two years on, LucasArts have finally remembered that they like money, with the release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels: Attack of the Colons, but can it possibly live up to the dream?

The basic set up is pretty much what you would expect. Two characters from a selection of ten Clone Wars characters go into an arena and proceed to kill each other with lightsabers and Force powers. For solo players there is a story mode featuring clips from the series, and a challenge mode in which you need to win whilst fulfilling certain objectives (usually use all the combos or finish in under three minutes), but it never really departs much from the main concept.

The most important thing about this game is probably the control system. Sadly, any hopes for full one-to-one movement of your blade are quickly dashed, instead lightsaber attacks are limited to slashes in four directions and a forwards stabbing motion. This does at least mean that the controls are much more reliable than many Wii games; even when making multiple moves in quick succession the game can pick up exactly what each swing is supposed to be and act accordingly, so you'll never end up losing the game just because the game confused your Ultimate Sith-Killer Combo for the "decapitate self with own lightsaber" command.

There are a few more complications to the fighting system, such as each character having their own Force power and super move, using the Force to throw debris into your opponent's face, and the ability to parry attacks by holding block and swinging in the opposite direction to your opponent, but overall there is nowhere near as much depth to the combat as something like Soul Calibur.

One feature that comes up a lot is the saber lock system where at seemingly random points in the battle the two combatants will lock blades, trade insults and then set off one of three mini games... or just go straight back into the fight leaving the players wondering what all that was about. The mini games are quite fun actually, but it would be nice if it didn't feel like the game was deciding whether or not to give you one on the basis of a coin flip.

"Wait, why are we doing this again?"

The cast of characters contains most of the lightsaber-wielding stars of the Clone Wars series, with the surprising omission of Yoda who I can only assume was left out to avoid having to deal with the height difference. This unfortunately, includes Ahsoka Tano, the irritating teenager who has quickly become my most hated Star Wars character ever since Darths & Droids made Jar Jar Binks awesome. It's also a shame that there are no characters from outside of the Clone Wars time period; OK I understand that Qui-Gon Jinn fighting Darth Vader in the story mode would make no sense whatsoever, but a few original trilogy and Episode I characters as unlockable multiplayer characters wouldn't have hurt.

The actual choice of character to play as makes disappointingly little difference to the actual gameplay, with the main changes being a slightly different combo list and Force power. The real difference is in the voice clips played as the fight goes on. In a nice touch, the speech changes depending on your opponent, so for example Obi-Wan will accuse Count Dooku of betraying the Jedi Order and vow to bring an end to this insignificant rebellion, whereas Obi-Wan versus Anakin sounds more like a friendly sparring match. This helps to give the fights a more cinematic feel and make the sound clips actually make sense in context, but the downside is that by limiting the number of possible lines the chances of repetition inevitably increases.

Lightsaber proliferation reaches dangerous levels - coming in 2010: Star Wars Episode VII: Invasion of the Octopus People

The arenas are a nicely varied bunch, all with their own hazards. Clone troopers and battledroids fight it out around you (and get stabbed to death if they get in your way), electric discharges and blasts of flame can incinerate careless players, and one level takes place above a Sarlacc which reaches up to eat the tasty Jedi above. The arenas also have a tendency to change between rounds, such as a platform on the edge of a space-station that gets detached at the beginning of round two and spends the rest of the battle in freefall.

Overall, The Clone Wars is not the lightsaber game you imagined when you first saw the Wii remote, and in all likelihood it was never trying to be. Instead, what we have is a fun, technically competent, but ultimately insubstantial beat-em-up. Star Wars fans will likely get a kick out of it for a while, but after a few days they'll be back to Smash Bros. Brawl. Now, if LucasArts were to make a sequel using the MotionPlus add-on the idea could finally live up to its potential.

Score:
5/10

* Game: Scribblenauts
* Format: Nintendo DS
* Other Formats: None
* Developer: 5th Cell
* Publisher: Warner Brothers Interactive
* Genre: Puzzle

The premise of Scribblenauts is simple enough. You control Maxwell, your objective is to find the Starite hidden in each level, to do this you must use the tools at your disposal to overcome the obstacles in your way.

So what are the tools at your disposal? Well, "archaeopteryx", "water pistol", "lepidopterist", "Higgs boson", "giant enemy crab", "ROFLcopter", "El Chupacabra", "wedding dress", "razor", "Anubus", "jiaozi" and the 22,086 other objects that can be summoned from the game's insanely comprehensive vocabulary. It may well be the first game where the Oxford English Dictionary works as a stand-in for GameFAQs.

Somehow, "Cthulhu" seems less frightening after you shoot him with a "mind control device" and start riding around on his back.

There are a few limitations on what you can summon - trademarks are right out obviously, as is anything vulgar and drug or alcohol references. Also if you name a specific person, real or fictional, then you are likely to get nothing (and a good portion of the names included are just redirects to some generic character - "Einstein" gets you a "scientist", "Blackbeard" gives "pirate", and "Leeroy Jenkins" maps to "knight"). Stick within the rules however, and far more often than not you'll find that whatever bizarrely esoteric object you think of has been anticipated by the developers. You can and will stump the dictionary if you try (a few unused words include "hacker", "australopithecus", "man-eating plant", "crocoduck" and "grid"), but the point is that you usually need to actively look for pointlessly obscure nouns to achieve this, leading to the polar opposite of the old "I don't see any 'unlock door' around here" issue that plagued text adventures.

Not only are so many objects and characters included in the game, but they all have their own properties. Throwing a "toaster" in some water will electrocute anything nearby, "rope" can attach any two objects together, and activating the "Large Hadron Collider" will destroy the Universe. What's more, summoning multiple things will often cause them to interact with each other. Summon a "vampire" followed by "garlic bread" and the fiend will run away in terror, likewise "bigfoot" will run from a "photographer" and a "dingo" will eat any "baby" it sees. There are times when the illusion is broken as two items fail to interact in the way you want (one mission asks you to fix a car, but summoning a "mechanic" is no use), but given that there is literally not enough time in a human life to try every combination, 5th Cell probably deserve some leniency on this point.

Here, we see an "elephant" firing a "rocket launcher" at a "separatist". Buy Scribblenauts.

So far, it sounds like game of the forever, but inevitably there are flaws. The biggest problem is the control system which assigns both movement and item interaction to the touch screen. Touch any unoccupied area of the screen and Maxwell will charge over there with no concern for whatever deathtraps may be in his path. This problem is exacerbated by the camera which snaps back if left alone for a few seconds, causing you to miss whatever you were trying to click on.

Another problem is that unsurprisingly some items are almost game-breakingly powerful, to the point that the temptation is to rely on them almost exclusively. Summoning a "black hole" will get anything out of your path, "Death" can easily win just about any combat mission, and a switch-flipping "engineer" can often skip large sections of a level for you. In this case it could be argued that the game only becomes boring if you are boring, and indeed the game becomes a lot more fun if you avoid the quick and easy path to go for more convoluted solutions. Unfortunately this doesn't work for the annoyingly large number of "move object X to position Y" missions. Most of these only have one real solution - drag it over there with a flying vehicle, so the only real choice is what vehicle to use and how to attach object X.

Plan 1: Have a "termite" eat through the bark.
Plan 2: Shoot the tree with a "shrink ray".
Plan 3: "Glue" a "giant squid" to the "space shuttle" and crash it into the Starite.

Still, these flaws aren't enough to spoil a game where "Abraham Lincoln" can zombify "god" using the "Necronomicon". Learn to live with the controls and experiment with alternative solutions, and it really is an experience like no other.

Score:
9/10

* Game: Assassin's Creed 2
* Format: Xbox 360
* Other Formats: PC, PS3
* Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
* Publisher: Ubisoft
* Genre: Third Person Adventure



The first Assassin's Creed was a game with great potential - the Prince of Persia-style free running allowed you to climb any building then leap into a conveniently placed haystack at the bottom. Then there was the crowd-based stealth system that when used properly could let you walk right up to your target, stab him, and walk away before the guards even noticed he was dead. All this was tied up with a plot that could best be described as "The Da Vinci Code if Dan Brown wasn't a talentless hack" and the truly revolutionary concept of using a historical setting that was neither World War II nor ancient Rome.

Note the lack of Nazi gladiators.

Despite this potential, there were a number of major flaws that prevented it from being a truly great game. But now two years on, the sequel is here and provides one of the best examples in years of how to address the flaws of a game and bring the concept forwards.

The story kicks off right where the first game ended. Desmond is rescued from Abstergo by the modern Assassins and put into an upgraded version of the Animus. Once there he begins to relive the life of his ancestor Ezio Auditore da Firenze, a 15th century Italian nobleman who, much like Altaïr, is also a behooded Batman wannabe fighting to stop the Knights Templar from stealing the powers of Space Jesus. It makes sense in context. This change of character brings with it a new setting in the form of five cities in Renaissance Italy.

The dialogue è ormai casualmente switch between English e Italiano. Accendere i sottotitoli. Requiescat in pace.

The most obvious flaw in the original game was the dull mission structure, with constantly repeated missions involving such thrilling jobs as pickpocketing or sitting on a bench. The sequel does its best to address this problem, with much more variety in the missions and more cinematic set-pieces. There are also a number of underground tombs that allow you to make the most of Ezio's parkour skills. Having said all this, there are still too many "very slowly walk after this guy" missions (i.e. more than zero).

And the improvements extend further than the mission structure, to the point where it is hard to think of a single criticism of the first game that hasn't been addressed to some extent. Lack of reward for finding things? Collection increases the value of your villa and hence your income, plus there are proper unlockables for finding enough hidden feathers. Instant death water? You can now not only swim, but make sneaky takedowns from the water's edge. Not enough answers regarding the metaplot? Two sidequests give plenty of information about both the Assassins and Templars, and the ending is essentially a chain of massive revelations.

Non-instakill water. Really useful when you're in Venice.

There are still a few problems though. Having to keep returning to the villa to pick up money is a pain, especially as it involves a loading screen and usually a fairly long walk. In addition, despite improvements the combat still pales in comparison to something like Batman: Arkham Asylum. There are a number of new moves, but the all-powerful counter attack is still enough to defeat just about any enemy. This combined with enemies that politely attack one at a time means that battles often degenerate into holding the block button and waiting for an opportunity to counter.

All in all, this is the game we should have got two years ago, and means the series now actually deserves the level of success it has received. There are a few things left to be ironed out, but if the inevitable Assassin's Creed III has the same dedication to addressing its failings then it could be a true classic.

Score:
8/10

* Game: Infinite Space
* Format: Nintendo DS
* Other Formats: None
* Developer: Platinum Games/ Nude Maker
* Publisher: Sega
* Genre: Role Playing



Out of all the fictional jobs that we wish existed in real life, starship captain has got to rank near the top. Exploring never before seen regions of space, fighting battles with guns that could take out a small country and sending anonymous crewmen to die pointlessly, it's got everything. Strangely, despite the number of games that try to mimic Star Wars in some way, this Star Trekian life is something of a rarity in gaming, but now comes Infinite Space to satisfy all your redshirt-sacrificing needs.

The story focuses on Yuri, who in accordance with JRPG tradition is a young boy coming of age who must face up to his great destiny and mysterious powers. Said powers in this case being an ability to activate the Epitaphs, magic space boxes that are somehow connected to the Void Gates used to travel between systems. He also needs to face up to the Lugovalian Empire that is rapidly conquering all galaxies that stand in its way. As generic as the overall plot sounds, the characters, dialogue and subplots are consistently well done, as are the numerous homages - and not just the expected Star Trek / Wars / Gate similarities either, Arthur C. Clarke fans will recognise a lot of themes within the story.

Frak! Smeg! Frell! petaQ! Drokk! It's not proper sci-fi until someone hurls a made-up swear word at you. Belgium!

At the heart of the game are your ships themselves. There are over a hundred in all, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. The game offers an impressive level of customisation, with your design choices making a noticeable difference to how your fleet operates. Shields and armour let you go toe-to-toe with the enemy, radars and long range weaponry let you hold back and attack them from a safe distance, and security offices give a big advantage if you try to board enemy ships. Simply buying the best of everything is not an option, as your ship has fairly limited space for modules, so for every improvement you make there is a tradeoff in terms of something else that must be left out. You also need to manage your crew, hiring staff for everything from First Officer right down to accountants and the serving staff in the mess hall.

Ship upgrades are done through the medium of Space Tetris.

When battle begins, the two fleets are placed at opposite sides of a battleground, with the options to move forward or back, or to fire any weapons that are in range. There is a kind of rock-paper-scissors dynamic to the three main moves - Barrage is made up of three times as many shots as Normal, but can be almost completely negated by Dodge, dodging a Normal attack however just makes you easier to score a critical hit on. As the game goes on, you also gain access to fighters, AA guns, boarding parties and special attacks. The number of combat options is very limited when compared to the ship upgrades, but if anything this goes to underline just what a difference the right design choices make.

The battles utilise the strangely underused gimmick of turning the DS touch screen into a control panel

All this may seem somewhat overwhelming, and in truth it often can be. This fact is not helped by the often shockingly poor levels of user friendliness. There are dozens of stats to take into account, plus special skills for all your crew and many of the ships, but the only way to learn what they all mean is to drop whatever you're doing and go to the tutorials at a starbase. Ship customisation would also be a lot easier if you had the relevant stats visible on the top screen - as it is you are told what improvement the current module will give, but not how effective you already are. Most unforgivably, there is no way to look up your current objectives, so if you can't remember where you are meant to be going then your only options are a) fly to every one of the dozens of nearby systems, checking every building until you finally reach the one that sets off the plot, or b) GameFAQs.

These annoying problems with accessibility may well be enough to make many players give up in frustration, but stick with it and once it clicks the scale and ambition are truly impressive. A great game at its best, it's just a shame it makes you work so hard to see it.

Score:
7/10

Game: Dead Rising
Format: Xbox 360
Other Formats: N/A
Developer: Capcom Productions Studios
Genre: Sandbox/Survival Horror

1 Photo Journalist, over 200 gib-splattering weapons and a crapload of zombies make Capcom’s ‘Dead Rising’ that killer 360 app. everyone’s been waiting for. You play Frank West, a freelance photo journalist trying to discover the strange goings on within the town of Willamette. The story begins as you fly over town in a helicopter where you take control of Frank’s camera and are taught the simple mechanics of ‘Prestige Points’ (or PP for short) which determine the speed at which Frank levels up. You can get more or less points depending upon what category the photo slots into (Brutality, Outtake, Erotica and Other) and how well you’ve framed your subject. You can zoom in and out with the B and A buttons and snap the pic with X, the game tells you how well you’ve done with a sort of Burnout Crash-Mode style identification method. This is fairly simple and helps the flow of the game pick up nice and slowly. There are, of course, other ways to earn PP but we’ll get to that later.

The initial Photography tutorial over, you are left completely to your own devices. You are told you have 72 in-game hours (about 6 hours real time) to do pretty much anything you want. If you wish to figure out the truth about why there are undead hordes out for a wonder in the local shopping centre you can, but the game really doesn’t put any pressure on you to do anything if you don’t want to. On one play through, we just stood on the helipad until the chopper came back 3 days later. Okay it was boring as hell, but it proves the previous point.

(That’s enough of the storyline. Now onto the good stuff!)

At the beginning of the game all you have is the ability to Jump, Punch and Run which makes the task of avoiding zombification a little trepid at first, but quickly you’ll find yourself in possession of a baseball bat and a great big evil grin. It is immensely satisfying to witness the first zombie’s skull cave under the pressure of your swing along with the gushing fountain of claret emanating from the neck stump. That feeling fills your black soulless heart with the deepest Neanderthal joys of straight out un-censored violence that it so passionately craves. It NEVER get’s old, especially when there are so many different varieties of zombie death that you can provide. The weapons range from bottles to barbells, CDs to shotguns, lawn mowers to heavy machine guns. This is the game to satisfy the sinful excitement in the ultimate destruction of all things that aren’t you.

Dead Rising really shows off the 360’s capabilities when it comes to the graphical side of things. For one, there doesn’t seem to be any pop-up or random spawning of enemies on screen that we can notice and so you are left with a staggering amount of moving objects on screen at any one time. As the number of zombies increase in relation to the time spent in the game, it can get to a point where all you can see are waves of bloodied heads closing in on you. All of which are fantastically drawn, there are enough different zombie models, it seems, to make sure that you never see many of the same zombie in any one place. To be quite honest though, you wouldn’t let them stand around long enough for you to care.

Capcom boast an implemented ‘Swarm Technology’ feature that supposedly is what makes all the zombies instantly attracted to you. As they shuffle gormlessly towards Frank, we often wander why it is they don’t just try and eat each other. It’s not as if they would put up much of a fight. Then we shake any thought from our heads and get back to propping traffic cones onto unsuspecting corpses and watch as they stumble around completely useless and blind. Then we laugh and we carry on.

If just hacking away at an endless stream of zombies and taking pictures of your deeds sound tedious to you, (though we don’t know why it should) there is the secondary focus of saving helpless individuals you can work at. A total of 53 survivors (54 including Frank) are strewn throughout the mall and it is your job to go and rescue them and bring them back to safety in the security room where you began the game. Again, this gives you the power to do whatever you want. You are informed throughout your travels by Otis the friendly mall janitor safely tucked away in the security room, that there are people in peril and that you should go help them out. It’s up to you whether or not you do so, their lives hang over you like a piano on a rapidly fraying rope. If you do decide to go give them a hand you’ll be rewarded with lots of nice Prestige Points and hopefully can level up increasing your health pool, the number of items possible in your inventory and your roster of melee attacks. Some of these ranges from a simple kick in gut to a devastating neck twist, where you rip a fallen ex-mallrat’s head from its torso. Delicious.

It is probable that at one point or another you’ll have to stop playing for a moment, perhaps to sleep or maybe to let loved ones know that you are breathing, this is where you may feel a bit confused. Saving the game takes place at a number of sporadically placed toilets and also a sofa within the security room. Many people may have trouble adjusting to the fact that the save system works differently than in most other games. Let us explain, when you save mid-play you save both your location and current progress. The game will then ask you if you wish to continue playing or if you want to end for the time being. If you select the latter you will be able to pick up where you left off via the main menu. Seems simple enough so far doesn’t it?

There is also another method of saving, whereby if you for whatever reason die, you are also asked whether or not you would like to save or load up from where you started the session. Many people have misunderstood this screen (me included) and have saved thinking they can just continue on from the nearest save point, where as in actual fact only your current character level, points and weaponry are saved leaving you with no other option than to start ‘72 hour mode’ from the very beginning. This is somewhat annoying, but since the replay value is so high this is easily overlooked.

Another blaring problem is the ever so obvious lack of multiplayer. It would have felt amazing to be able to slash your way to victory with another human being laughing incessantly at the havoc they are creating over Xbox Live. Maybe including some sort of double team type takedown moves for you both to have fun with? But alas, this idea obviously didn’t come across the guys at Capcom, and for one reason or another, was left out of the running.

We could go on and on and on about what you can do in Dead Rising like little giggling school children who have just come back from 2 weeks in Disneyland, but it’s time this review came to a close.

Capcom’s slash-em-up is a gruesomely fun experience which plays on the true definition of gaming. Countless routes and activities make the apparent short playtime completely irrelevant. The lack of multiplayer is unfortunate but in the long run does nothing to damage what was the greatest 360 title of 2006.

• Game: Prey
• Format: Xbox 360
• Other Formats: PS3
• Developer: Human Head Studios
• Genre: First-Person Shooter

Take everything you thought you knew about the laws of the gravity and throw it out the window. In Human Head Studios’ floor flipping mind-fuck, ‘Prey’, succeeds in rattling the cages of both normality and humanity.

You take control of Tommy, a present day descendant of the Native American Cherokee tribe. Your crazy old Grandfather keeps on blabbing to you about your destiny (Victory, pain and salvation, that old chestnut), but all you’re really interested in is shacking up with your girl as far away from the sleaze that is Roadhouse Bar as possible. Can nothing ever be this simple? The TV starts to crackle and the night is filled with the howling of wolves. It’s all about to kick off and you are slap bang in the middle.

Forget open ended gameplay, ‘Prey’ takes shooting back to the basics, but with a few innovative twists and big interactive cut-scenes, it’s easy enough to overlook the straight run and gun atmosphere you first encounter. Right from the off you’re yoinked out of normal existence and stuffed into a fairly substantial alien spaceship, where you can be pretty certain you ain’t gonna be treated nice. The second chapter of the game is where the action starts, showing you the ups and downs of the movement controls and introductions to the gravity defying aspects of gameplay, gradually building up your ability to orientate yourself (and keep your lunch from resurfacing) confidently. You can walk on walls walk on the ceilings and watch enemies doing both at the same time. It really is a spectacle to behold. But wait! There’s more in the way of originality to surface yet...

‘Prey’ sets a new standard of connectivity with the introduction of seamless portal links within the levels. When I say ‘seamless’ I mean it, let me explain. A hole rips open from thin air in front of you and a hunter jumps out to show you a rifleman’s welcome, you run full pelt, dodging his fairly poor aim and whack him in the face with your wrench. He falls. You take his gun and peer through the still gleaming portal hovering right in front of you. You can step to your side and get a better view of the inside from all angles; you can even walk around the back to make sure that what you are witnessing isn’t just a figment of your imagination... it’s not. You step through and instantly enter a completely new area from the one you were in before. No loading screens. No lag... Seamless. It’s this fantastic design that places ‘Prey’ high above any other FPS on the console.

Although graphically average for a 360 title, there are some cool effects that have been utilised here and there, such as dynamic reflections on some surfaces and the actual visual effect of the air in front of you tearing to allow you to hop through to a new area. Another is the ethereal glow when Tommy enters Spirit Walk, an ability which allows you to leave your physical body and scout out unfamiliar locations or cross previously impassable barriers in Tommy’s spiritual state. At times it is obvious when to use this ability to progress through the game but sometimes you may be entering spirit walk just because of the sheer coolness and accidentally stumble across a secret area which is invisible to you in Tommy’s physical form. You are, however, very vulnerable in this state. As your body floats around while you’re off gallivanting in this newly found higher plane of existence it is very susceptible to any sort of attacks and if not looked out for you could find yourself very dead. On the other hand, in ‘Prey’, according to the back of the box “Dying is no longer annoying… its fun!” To an extent this is true. When you die, you enter ‘Deathwalk’ mode, a concept similar to that used in ‘Soul Reaver’ on the previous generation consoles, where you must shoot down wraith like enemies to regain your health and spirit bar after which you are plonked back where you left off. I feel this makes the game far too easy and if anything is the sole reason behind the seemingly short single player campaign. I’m not saying this idea is a bad one, but if there was some skill involved in regaining your right to life rather than just hitting several floating wisps maybe the game would feel longer. On the other hand I suppose you could justify it as a glorified quicksave/quickload type action. In either case, it could still easily be made so much better.

One thing you can fall back on to strengthen the longevity are the Xbox Live modes (Or as I like to refer to it, ‘Multipreyer’). This comes in two flavours, Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch. Both are pretty straight forward, kill everyone else try not to die too much yourself. Those of you used to games of the same sort of play style as Halo 2 online might have a hard time adjusting, but once you do you’re in for a frantic fast paced frenzied frag fest of fluidity and full on freshness. Reminiscent of the early classics such as the Team Fortress and Unreal Tournament games, the emphasis is on kicking ass and less about thinking over your next move. Some nifty traps can be sprung however by utilising the twisting, switching gravity throughout most of the levels. You even get the same portal system that floods the single player game which means you can lob a grenade through a portal and have it hit someone right on the other side of the map. Much hilarity ensues. It would have been nice to have a few more maps or even game types, but something tells me we still might in the form of marketplace content. In the meantime I’m quite content to keep on thrashing away until that happens.

‘Prey’ is packed with originality, gore and creepiness. Everything you want from a 3D Realms title. It could do without the frequent casual profanity and maybe being a bit longer, but it’d be criminal not to rate it highly.

• Game: The Darkness
• Format: Xbox 360
• Other Formats: PS3
• Developer: Starbreeze Studios
• Genre: First-Person Shooter/Survival Horror

Sometimes hype overwhelms us. Controls us. Causes an opaque shroud to fall over our eyes and block anything else from peaking our anticipation. Usually this isn’t so pronounced, what with the usual big hitters numbering in their few and due to arrive around the Christmas season. Yet even the lengthy gap between Starbreeze’s surreal, gritty, brain bending shooter The Darkness and the winter release schedule can do little to draw attention away from the big names this year... which is a shame; because those of you who take a chance to pick this low profile title up out of curiosity will be hit with a wealth of satisfaction right from the word go.

A short monologue introduces you to the character you will be playing throughout the game. ‘Jackie Estacado’ isn’t talking to you ‘the player’ however; he’s talking to an (at this point in time) unknown third party, explaining his ways and sort of preparing you for what is to come. A car chase! A fantastic atmosphere creation and a great introduction to the sort of criminally abundant setting you’re about to be thrown into. This section allows you to look about from the rear of the car with no real interaction other than to listen to the guys in front of you bicker. The language they use is not for the faint of heart (or ears), but hey! This is the New York Mafia underworld, what do you expect?

After being introduced to the world and a couple of characters… they’re instantly killed off and you are left on your own, duel wielding and pissed. The way the game is played from here on out is pretty much like every other first person shooter; you see stuff, you determine whether or not said stuff can be shot, you shoot said stuff. However, what the game does offer to mix up this basic formula is a number of cool additions. You’ll know doubt already be familiar with the supernatural element the game by way of screen shots, videos and general word of mouth anyway, so you’ll be yearning a bit of tentacle action ASAP. The Darkness doesn’t disappoint and before you know it you’ll be smashing lights, impaling foes, devouring hearts and creating swirling singularities wherever you step. Graphically the title impresses also, with excruciating detail going into the ‘Darkness’ itself so that you can identify the separate scales on its wispy body. The overall gritty feel of flickering lighting and bits of paper blowing around in the streets really add to the experience as well as the graffiti you find scattered all over the place.

The story line, which I won’t go into detail with too far, is very compelling and easily is one of the major selling points for the game. Unlike with many, you actually do care about the characters and by allowing you to complete side quests at a number of occasions you are able to learn more about these characters at your leisure. It barely effects the overall story line but it’s nice to know you have the option of exploration if that’s what takes your fancy. Talking of fancy, ‘The Darkness’ boasts the same type of true first person view point (as seen in ‘FEAR’ and a couple of other titles) whereby you ‘see’ from the eyes of the player model rather than a floating camera at eye level with a gun protruding from the lower part. This means that you feel a lot more immersed. For example, you can see the rest of your body when you look down, you can see your hands when you hold a gun and can know exactly just how much of your head is protruding from behind cover (if you bother to use it). Another great feature is the way in which you are led to believe that you are free to roam the game world, when in actual fact you are led down a very linear path with set waypoints. It does this by allowing interaction with most NPCs and public phone boxes, information kiosks and the like. Much like the early ‘Deus Ex’s approach to story progression, ‘The Darkness’ allows you to take pretty much as long as you want with anything. You never feel pressured to continue along… Well at least not at the start.

Despite from its inherent ‘cool’ factor, ‘The Darkness’ isn’t without its flaws. For example the ability to spawn ‘Darklings’ from the ground poses little use other than cannon fodder and is never explained. It seems as if they were tacked on as an after thought or maybe designed to be used from the beginning, yet not fully taken advantage of. Which is a shame because they are hilarious little guys, peeing on corpses you leave in your wake and making the occasional quip about the enemy’s futility. Another problem with the game is that, due to the immense power ‘The Darkness’ itself bestows on you, the game becomes very easy and by the time you are faced with the task of taking on fully kitted out SWAT teams and attack helicopters, you'll be able to open up black holes all over the place and pretty much obliterate anyone in your path. Which, don’t get me wrong, is AWESOME fun… it just feels a little, cheap. Playing on a harder difficulty setting, will more than likely rectify this problem however and the positives outweigh the negatives so much that I’m easily willing to overlook this.

As is the trend with every first person shooter it seems, ‘The Darkness’ has an (in my opinion) unneeded multiplayer mode. If you’ve played Quake 4 or Prey or Doom 3’s multiplayer then you’ve played this. It’s pretty much straight out death match with a shape-shifting quirk thrown in (you are able to transform into a Bezerker Darkling at will on some modes, making you super fast and giving you one hit kills but making you extremely vulnerable to gunfire and very hard to control in tight spaces) which is great fun for about 10 minutes. After that it’s just the same old same old, which again, is a shame because the single player is so good that it doesn’t need a multiplayer mode to increase its longevity. I, myself, can see many hours being spent over the next month or so, trying to obtain all the bonus collectables which allow access to the secret content and trying different ways of devouring my enemies or seeing if it is at all possible to approach the game stealthily… etc. etc. etc.

I think it’s clear that I was very pleasantly surprised with ‘The Darkness’. So much so that I’ll be watching out for more and more of these low profile games with the potential of reaching that sleeper hit status. It’s a shame that despite it’s greatness, Starbreeze’s latest creation will more than likely never see the share of appreciation it so badly deserves. Although if it does… I’ll be one of the first names on the list of pre-orders for ‘The Darkness 2’.